SO. FUCKING. PISSED. OFF.

the reason i am writing here at 11am on a sunday morning is cos i am so fucking mad at my family. cb waste my time. tried to start my assgn but was too mad to think str8. they are ruining my life.
my dad wakes me up at 10am which is the crack of dawn for me and tells me to go down for breakfast. it's fat french fries which sunny up eggs so i get up for it. i rush downstairs at the speed of light and there were only like a small buch left. i thought my aunty helen was frying more so i ate what there was first. halfway thru my dad tells me theres no more left. so i say oh but aunty's making more right? and turns out not cos there werent any more potatoes?? i was so mad and i asked like then how come u all didnt leave me more. and my dad says OH WE DIDNT KNOW IF U WERE EATING. so i pointed out calmly that i never missed french fries EVER. and he goes how wud i know. WHEN I KNOW HE WAS THE ONE THAT ATE MOST OF THE FRIES. MY FRIES. i was like why did u wake me then. if u wake me up for breakfast u shld be leaving me some food right. if not y disturb my slp. i slept damn late last night and i got alot to do today and u wake me up for like a puny bucha fries?? i pointed that out and i was so angry. and my fucker of a brother goes, why she so angry for what? and i blew up at that cos he's the asshole who always finishes my rice at dinner and i am pretty damn sure he ate my fries. which i know i was right about cos later i heard my aunty helen scolding him for eating my share. and he didnt admit it at all.

i know i sound fucking childish here but this rubbish keeps happening. they wake me up for no reason other than NOT GOOD TO SLEEP LATE. then eat my share of my food. and i really hate it when ppl eat my share. i know i can afford to eat less and i dont mind giving u my food if u ask and not just eat it and act like u were entitled to it and OOPS U DONT HAVE ENOUGH AR NVM DONT EAT LOR ANYWAY U BLOODY FAT MAH HAHAHA. that mofo bro always pts out how he's skinnier than me so he shld be entitled to more?? ya fine eat more but not MY SHARE. wtf. he eats my rice eats my bread which i buy with my own $$ when i leave it on the counter for 5 mins and then he always refuses to say sorry and argues. and my dad does the same shit he eats my food and acts like he didnt know it was mine. i mean what kinda parent eats their kid's share! i know it sounds like im being mean to him but he does it all the damn time like since i was really young. i dont understand why he cant just eat his own he always wants to TRY my food and ends up eating like half of it or sometimes even the whole thing. i mean i wudden be so mad now if they had just sed sorry and not shit like WE DUNNO U EATING or LIKE THAT NOT ENOUGH MEH?? fuck u were the one who woke me up so why dont u try it and see and get back to me on that.

i know i've been monopolizing this place. well thats cos i ve been having so much rubbish happening.

after a fucked up last week where i

1) got lost in fucking arts trying to collect my replacement matric card. 16 bucks ok. prior to that i had to get by asking ppl to open the com lab door for me with their cards. cb.

2) got fucking banned from a fucking club which my friends alr entered so i was left outside for a few humiliating minutes till chung came out for me.

3) lost my fucking phone. which i am very dependent on. what is wrong with me why do i kp losing stuff!!!

4) dad refuses to pay 200 bucks for my trg trip. bitch.

5) HATE EVERYBODY

and recess week like flew past. i have an assignment due and 2 mid terms nx wk. and after which another 2 mid terms for 2 modules i have no idea are about. might as well give my god my matric card and make her take for me, and then theres IT presentation due. of course i did about 2.35% of what i NEED to do.

ok so now i've made a list of things that have been bugging me i feel marginally better. some of my current stresss i attribute to my disgusting sleeping habits and my inability to reject friends for supper/playing games after dinner and of course my youtubing/gossip girl/ antm addictions. and prcrastination. sigh i am such a low level functioning individual.

fuckers.

I LOST MY PHONE OMG

OMG I LOST MY PHONE

last night we did sth loser. went to zouk at 845 to get to phuture. the q was alr ridic when i got there. thank goodness for chai xinyi who had friends right at the front. and then we went to macs at gr8 world and i actually read my driving book till like 10 plus. good thing i passed today or i would have lugged my backpack to zouk for nothing!

i got banned from double o. cb. door bitch didnt let me in the first time and i borrowed someone's specs + ic and got in at another entrance but i got caught out while re-entering. she summoned me over and stamped a huge cross on my arm. it was mildly humiliating. but i got over it after bitching bout it the whole way to attica with chungie. what kinda stupid club sets the minimum age at 20 anyways. retarded. i am not going there even when i am 20. bitch.

anyways was a fun night. we went to so many places for free drinks there wasnt space left on my left arm they had to use the other. met the eusoff ppl outside zouk..

@ jy : OMG ask me why i am screaming
@mel: ask me who i wanna hit

sigh i need my thursdays free. and i really need my phone :(

xoxox wong out

where did my baby go

today my brother showed me an article in the papers. this security guard in pakistan blocked a suicide bomber at the door so only 7 were wounded, but he died. i said that wasn't fair, and my brother said at least he'd go straight to heaven, cos he sacrificed himself. rest in peace.

baby u set me on fire

so hot these days i sweat in my sleep.

talentime later. should be fun. shooting some hoops after that. then study thai maybe.

keep getting distracted. books are spanking new and begging to be read, but i say no, no, no.

finance fucked me over. what a bitch.

but who cares about finance when there's everything else to do?

-_-

Yes! A new cycle of ANTM is finally here and there's even a transgender inside..kool. Hopefully this would help alleviate some of my stress. Yes, i m prone to stress which also means i m pretty useless, yes whatever, but that's just the way i am so live with it. And being rejected twice in a row is not exactly very stress reducing. Then again, i've always failed to live up to people's expectations, so what's new?

And once again, i've realised how having a wide social network in uni is just oh so important. Seriously, save it on the excuses.

And lit is just being lit again. Yes i do like it but then everytime i take a lit module i'll start questioning why i even bothered taking it in the first place since i seriously majorly suck at it. Humans are so prone to self torture, seriously. A simple lit discussion presentation was enough to knock me down. What i've produced is seriously embarrassing and gross. I can totally imagine the horrified mortified look on people's faces tmr as i present.

It really sucks to realise that you are not who you thought you are all along. It's just bad for the esteem.

And a dream i had was very illuminating, it makes me wonder if it's a sign that it's true, or like what people say, reality is usually the opposite of your dreams. I seriously hope the latter is true.

Hoping that things would improve,
Jac

Warning: I forgot to mention that i had a haircut, and now i m plagued with short, screwed up fringe which time from time resembles freaking bangs when its in the mood. It's an utmost insult to me - bangs. (No offence to those who have it, i just so happen to not have da face to pull it off.) Anw, the shorter fringe was suppose to make me look younger and unfortunately, acc. to the hairdresser, "cuter" -_-. Not surprisingly, my old face is just incapable of withstanding any such Taiwan Mei elements. No one has appreciated my haircut so far, so bewarned.

fast and furious

last week went by astoundingly quick.. i'm trying to blog once a week cos so many things are going on and i don't want everything to end up a hazy blur. last week was fantastic fun haha.

on monday, me and den fell asleep in the evening while doing our post-class activities (playing stupid online games/ facebooking). we woke shortly before jac got back with the sad news that we didnt make it for dp. i spent the night wallowing in self-pity and self-doubt. but things got better after me jac den and mel walked the long road down to west coast macs for green tea mcflurry! thanks guys, especially jac cos i know i whined u into coming with me haha.. when we got back to hall, weijun and xinjie were in the pantry with the AWESOMEMEST mooncakes. i really hate mooncakes, but this was like milo + rittersport + greentea level awesomeness combined into something disguised as a mooncake! it was however, GD expensive. 48 bux for 8 pieces? guys, we gotta treat weijun to something man...

on tuesday we had block initiation! funnest stuff ever for a psycho torturer like me. maybe i was a jap soldier in my last life too huh? set up the most disgusting things for the freshies. the a2 girls (but not me) threw the grossest stuff into the pantry bin and made blindfolded freshies finds spoons.. the a4 guys did the most shit la.. all used to be jap soldiers i bet. nearly-toilet dunking?? toilet oaths?? the ultimate grossness haha. they filled this bin with maggi mee + bread + vinegar + ketchup?? they brought me in for a preview, and i propmptly retched. and this was when everything else was still clean.. poor freshies, really.
we didnt have initiation last yr, i am kinda relieved a little, but i also kinda wish we had it. u know, cos the lame-sounding bonding thing is actually true. but as a senior it was shitass fun. throw flour at ppl, force them to say stupid stuff, smear paint on them, put ice down their shirts, smack them with magazines. and u dont get hit for that yeaaaaaaaa

finally i met with zhi! time passed too fast cos we were having fun. then i went back to hall for ibg. almost passed out from running up and down the court like 2 times or something. hung around and played handball till lights out even though i still had to prepare for thai. and do macro. argh i am the procrastinator. then went for supper cos i was starving to death. i am like the most uncoordinated idiot?? hit the prata dude while he was walking past our table cos i just had to swing my hand arnd while talking. kicked this girl after cos i just had to stretch my leg out when she was walknig past. bad timing or what. went back, hung around and marcus brought sha sha down. she is becoming too much of a cat for me to not freak. but still cute haha. played pingpong, showered, did thai and finally slept at 430.

sorry to get pensive but is this what hall life is? i love the chalet-ish feeling even though it means i dont get much done. i cannot imagine not staying in hall even though i dont know if by staying i am doing what's good for me. u see, i stay pretty near school so i dont NEED to stay..rooms are expensive so i am spending cash (my own, cos mean dad) which i should be saving/donating/investing in something else. i dont head/captain anything, and i am not involved in any commitees/productions (and not that i didnt try) so it isn't like my resume is benefiting. i spend more time hanging out then doing work so i am not helping my CAP either. these are things that make me question whether i am kicking my own ass/ ruining my life unknowingly.
the freedom is great, i get to come back anytime i want. stay out late when there's class the nx morning and not get locked out/ have ppl pissed at you. i get to wake at 940 when there's class at 10. but it's the people that make me happy i think . late night suppers. playing different sports together is one of the things i like most. something's always happening. having friends holler for u to go down and play. i like playing at the mpc. so many people are playing so many sports at the same time, u can just go extra in another game when u get bored with yours, and the funniest accidents happen. coming back after class and there's jac/den in my room to tell about my day. or even mel/celeste whose door is always open (literally). when i see the lights on when i am walking back from class i feel happy, u can talk/sing loudly and awfully when showering in consecutive cubicles. share notes with those who are in your classes. . share food, share music, share your last teen/ schooling years.

one day i will read this entry and maybe i will shudder at how i spent my uni years but more likely i will smile to myself when i remember cos this is such Fun Times at NUS.
and probably i am not doing the Right Thing for my future. i dont know why i am even stressing out bout this. i never thought about my future. this must be a sign of increasing maturity, the fact that i am thinking past what i can see. but i should live in the present right? and take things as they come? i am thinking, i sure hope i will know what i am supposed to do when something i should do appears right in front of me. cos i wanna make the best of this time. no more missing out/ falling short.

wong out

i like that duffy girl

help. things are getting crazy in here.

last week i got bomabarded with work. presentations coming up already, and i am so behind in my readings & tutorials. partly cos i just got the textbooks? but mostly cos i am such a lazy lardass. i actually went for class without a textbook! with a blank sheet of paper to get answers! and i was late again! ended up with The Seat. you know, the one which the tutor likes turning to and making eye contact with the person in it.

oversleeping be bane of me. on friday i woke up late and missed lecture. not too bad cos there's a webcast for that. BUT i had to be late for thai class which was right after and i got locked out cos the fucking door is so weird! i struggled with the door, got violent with it, and it burst open! yay! except i thought i was entering by the back door, but turned out it was the front door! omg i wanted to stab myself. my friend nic was right at the back and it was impossible to get through the rows of ppl (very big class) and i was too embarrassed to go out by the front and enter by the back again (can u imagine if the back door jammed??). so i ended in The Seat again. this time even better, right beside the overhead projector which was blasting hot air! why the hell were we using an OHP anyways!

one bright spot, dinner at fong's was awesome! chung insisted they cooked the obviously store bought chicken (uh..okaay). lazed around, laughed at people's xangas, stalked ppl on facebook haha.. love my teammates!! they were like the funnest part of my hols too i think <333

went off to meet the uni classmates for icecream for awhile. ugh i hate swensons. overpriced and tastes like something my sister makes. then mom called to yell. so i had to get home. then on the cab she called to yell again. like wtf. then they locked me out. ASSES. but i used an umbrella to hook the keys over HAHA and i ran up really quietly to my room and they didnt even know i was home THERE I OUTSNEAKED those sneakies. NO WONDER THEY ARE MARRIED. i am still so pissed off. i know the hols are over but it was friday, ok?

so today, i had a game at 12. had to get there by 1040. which means i have to leave home at 930. and be up by 910. 915 if we rush it. when i woke, it occured to me that it was a little too warm in there to be 9. checked my phone and it was bloody ONE FIFTEEN. i almost wet my bed. got pissed that i didn't hear the alarm (happens) and then i realised i didn't even set the alarm!!! i forgot to cos i was too mad last night and i just kinda fell asleep fuming.
i actually slept past a frigging game. what the hell. there's game tomorrow again and i am gonna bloody set like 3 alarm clocks.

and i am still so flooded with schoolwork.. and tmr's softball day i'm gonna get close to zero done?? i don't know. i really really feel bad when i am late for stuff cos it's like disrespectful?? plus it's really annoying. i am acknowledging that i have a problem here :(

this is my extremely belated new year's resolution I WILL BE ON TIME

this is week 3 of school and i am already stressing out :( there's so much going on. family friends school hall club. farewells, meetups. at least league is ending soon so i can have my weekends free.

i dunno what i am doing sometimes SIGH it's like all my friends kinda know what they want and the can direct their energy towards it like a strong gush of water but here i am meandering round like a loser river. see, that's what school does to me.

imma go listen to warwick avenue and emo..though i am feeling vaugely happy now.. shit i dont even know why

wong out

when i get to warwick avenue

brand new semester. yes i am only counting this week cos this is when tutorials start. i am taking NO LAUGHING thai. a very strange language. but i like strange.
this is transition transition all the way. i still don't know what i want.
major fun times the past coupla weeks. stayovers. staying out all night. staying up all night.
but i am afraid of the inevitable emo times coming up.

i've already met most of the people i'll be having classes with. of course, there's no escaping the usual idiots who make it their duty to provide a variety of smartass comments. there just has to be one of those in every class huh.
the idiot will somehow position himself (YES USUALLY A HE) somewhere in the middle of the room so that everyone gets a good view of his (USUALLY FAT) ass. he then tries his hardest to play the rebel by sighing loudly when the tutor explains something slightly too complex for his non-existant mind/ saying shit like ' wa i better drop this module already la'. YES ASSHOLE DROP THE MODULE AND GIVE US ALL A BREAK.

it's perfectly fine to make such comments from time to time. i mean school isn't exactly easy peasy. everyone makes such comments. that's why the idiot tries to be like everyone else and starts commenting too, except he doesnt know when to stop. (cos he's like socially retarded or something). which makes me wanna bash his head in. plus it's really annoying cos you know he thinks he is so fucking witty. then somehow idiot will manage to find a seat beside a nice quiet girl. he proceeds to try and make her laugh (he probably read somewhere that girls like funny guys). and because she's nice she pretends to laugh a little at his painful jokes. which pushes him into furthur delusion that he is actually funny. and he thinks, 'hey i think i stand a chance with this chick. now, all i have to do is make her laugh harder and maybe she will go out with me'. which is none of my business of course, except that he says his jokes/witty comments just loud enough for the whole room to hear, while acting like he totally didnt mean for anyone else to hear him. NO SUBTLETY MUCH??

and it's bearable if idiot happens to sit in front of me. i just kick his chair really hard. but obviously, this is rarely the case. pardon the angst. i just lost my matric card.

feel my love

wong

A Time for Self Reflection

It seems that i have a new focus in life, and i hope people would understand and respect that. Suddenly, i've lost interest and motivation in most of the things that in the past two semesters have been what i lived for and i wonder if it's a good or a bad thing.

The past week has enabled me to see the ugly side of humankind right smack in my face not once but twice. It's amazing how people can blatantly exclude you and go about enjoying themselves right in your face and then to top it off, rub it in your face. I just don't understand how people are capable of such apparent disregard for others' feelings. And it's disappointing how those whom you expect to be there for you end up joining the elitist instead.

And you would think that at this age and time, cavemen do not exist anymore but unfortunately they do. It's preposterous and revolting the way they are so out of this world and unreasonable that you actually question their existence.

Then, there are those people who are so delusional you would think they came straight out of a storybook, the way they seem to be so self obsessed, the way they criticise people for the precise, same things that they often commit themselves. And then they come and wonder why so many people dislike them. This should be a wake up call in itself, calling out for self reflection.

Seriously, sometimes i do wish that everything were a dream.

And sometimes it seems that everything i do is wrong. It's getting quite tiring, everything.
I guess i am so caught up in wanting everything to be right that i end up doing it all wrongly instead. And i hate it that i just cant find it within me to be a better person in some aspects and this comes at a great cost. I've succeeded in painting a disgusting and hateful picture of myself in front of the person that matters the most to me.

It's so true that there's a limit for everything and as you wonder when everything would fall apart, you continue to unknowingly push the limits day by day.

Somehow, everything is not the way it was before.

Jac

not.enough.sleep.

cannot snap out of holiday mode.
hall = chalet
if cors were a person i would headbutt him.

wong out

poom!

sch's on monday and i havent gotten all my mods yet. neither have i settled into hall.

but i am ridiculously happy. whole day of softball today. played fine cept my tendacies towards brainless running surfaced a coupla times. jo bought us dinner + damn shiok ice cream + wine and we played taboo. and she wudden let us pay her back cos she's working and we're still stuck in school, she says. i have the bestest coolest senior ever! i feel like i am in sec1 again!

i think the only thing that is bothering me now is stupid cap. i badly wanna go on sep so bad so bad.i dont even care about my grades. i just wanna do well enough to go on xchange.

but i am like grinning to myself right now cos i am so happy. i don't even know why. i must try and remember this feeling. which is why i am writing this post. so that when i get emo i can read this and grin to myself again.

<3333333333333333333333

wong out

life

i've been feeling christmasy for some weird reason. maybe cos i'm 5 yrs behind and just watched this oc episode where they celebtared xmas. or maybe cos yesterday we went to sentosa where the lights were pretty and xmasy.

biz o week is over. yes i am an ogl no laughing. it was surprisingly fun. love my secretly hilarious freshies. hung out with classmates more these coupla weeks than i have in a yr?? met the most interesting peole. good thing i did o week i guess :)) the thing about o week is that everyone is in a good mood and open to talking to people they dont know. even an a-hole like me turns into helpful girl. i brought this exchange student to the dean's office when she just asked me where it was?? hello? next thing u knoe i would be helping old ladies carry their shopping bags. oh wait. i already did that. OMG! what is wrong with me?!

was watching olympic moments. love watching stuff like that. has it occured to u guys that if we were olympic material, beijing2008 would be our olympic debut? (cos we were like underage in 2004 haha). just a random thought. love watching olympics so much especially when they raise the flags and the emotion is so raw.

school is starting too soon, just like i guessed it would. kinda looking forward to it a little, as much as i love the hols. i wish i had more time at home though, cos i've hardly hung out with the siblings. they are out before i wake and asleep before i get home mostly..

when school's out and when school starts i hang out with such totally different groups of people. people i see almost everyday during school we lose contact during the hols, and people who i am with almost everyday(family) or at least every week (chung fong shanny tanz) during the hols i hardly see or are not even in singapore when school starts...

it's a whole different mindset. for 3 glorious months u get to be irresponsible and lazy and obnobxious. and then suddenly u have to worry bout getting your internship or if u are missing any deadlines, u obssess about pulling your cap up .. i get such mixed feelings.

i can't ever tell for sure if i am on the right path. am i working on the right things? i just try my best to deal.

wong out

The Dark Knight

I was never a fan of Batman. Come to think of it, i am never really a fan of heroes on the whole since they can be really typical and idealistic. "Spiderman" is about the only superhero movie that i bother spending money on to watch. Oh and "Batman and Robin" which i conveniently had the cheapo, quite bad quality VCD and i also watched it for Poison Ivy. So anyway, fortunately, against my desires this time, i was persuaded to watch the Dark Knight since everyone has been making such a fuss about it and i am seriously glad that i watched it. Those who haven't seriously don't know what they are missing.

"The Dark Knight" basically redefined the term "hero" like never before. Now a "hero" is no longer someone who does stuff like "Oh, i sense someone's in danger, let me change into my redundant costume and attempt to save the person asap and then hurry disappear so i can remain anonymous wooooo" *rolls eyes* Now "hero" stands for whatever the people need him or her to be, even if sometimes it means that he has to be the bad guy instead. Seriously, the plot is really well woven and very intricately done. It is about one of the most meaningful movie i've ever seen. The action is mediocre but the plot and themes more than made it for it. It's definitely award winning but yet not your typical award winning kinda movie which can be really monotonous and climax-less and makes watching painful until after the movie and you think reeeeaaaallly hard about it and get the very abstract message and go woooo. And for once, evil actually won in its own way and then there was the twist which turned around the victory and reduced the damage. Haha ok i totally sound like a movie critique but bottomline is that it's well worth the money and now the Dark Knight is on par with my favourite movie of all time LOTR. Oh and needless to say, Heath Ledger is da bomb. Haha yes Chrystal, stop gloating, i shall admit you have good taste, he really is a damn good actor. What a waste he is dead though, so we cant expect anymore movies from him. Well guess its true, what they say, about how good things never last. He seriously ought to be the first dead person to receive an Oscar man.

Although seriously they shouldn't have changed Katie Holmes to someone i think they think looks like her but in a much uglier n older way. No wonder she died in the movie leh, shit that was mean.

Oh and i like it that Batman has no superpowers. It makes him very human and not only relatable but also possibly prone to all the flaws of human, which is the way a true hero should be.

So my wish finally came true and i finally got to club last Wed. It was quite a disappointment though, due to the presence of certain groups of people there who took up damn alot of space on the dancefloor dancing in big circles and putting their arms around each other with their elbows frantically jutting out and poking everyone near them. How "considerate". And sadly, Arena had some event so we couldn't go there and sponge on the free drinks but Lunar was available though with Ladies' Night and 3 free lycee martini. At first i was totally thinking that 3 lycee martini is totally stingy and pointless since i always go to Arena to drink at least 9 lycee martinis to feel high enough. But ohhhh i was WRONG. The lycee martini in Lunar is damn strong la, like i drank 6 and it was already taking me quite alot of concentration to walk in a straight line. I mean, ya fine, the club's like quite sleazy with like pole dancers and framed huge pictures of naked men and women on the ceiling, but the lycee martini is worth it. Just hurry drink and go out haha. So anw the next day i had a really bad sore throat cos the martini was simply too strong, then again i was shouting and singing at the top of my lungs in the club haha.

One more week to the start of school, sigh, why does time have to pass by so fast.

And i realise i seriously dont understand many things in life and currently, at this stage, i seriously cant be bothered and am not interested. I hope this is what they say it is and it'll pass cos if it doesnt i really dont know what to do. Actually in a way i kinda noe what would happen but i just dont know if i can live with it. And its so true that change is inevitable.

Out,
Jig Jac

Updates Updates and more Updates

Just got back from steamboat at Bugis with my VJ buddies Nellie, Chrystal and Pinky. As everyone knows, 4 our of 5 steamboat shops there are like run by China people. So anyway we decided to sit at the second floor which turned out to be the Cheena floor. It was dominated by 2 tables full of C_ _ n _ people it could have been 200 and there wont be any difference. I swear they were speaking to each other as if they were miles apart when in fact it's only a freaking steamboat away. And the service was quite bad cos when we asked them to refill the soup, a male waiter kinda abusively threw a plate he was holding back to the plate stand (while picturing we were the plate i bet) and grudingly stormed off to get the refills, like eh ok, relax can? i only want a refill which is just a few steps away. So anyway, the company was great n we still had a lot of fun, it felt like we were back in the old days in VJ, eating bak chor mee and being the blacksheep of the school heh.



I learnt some stuff today and suddenly i felt like i havent been good enough and that i could be better. And i get where it was coming from, and i have been selfish. It wasnt my place and come to think of it i dont have the right. And to quote someone, "Minimal contact is good".



Went back to clean my hall today with my dear little roomie and DenDen. Unfortunately, _ _ _s stayed in the room the last two sems before us so were more OCD then usual. Just cleaning the cupboard was enough to kill us, not to mention the blinds with millions of slates and the horrifying drawers which had pubic looking hair in it along with random weird stuff, some even alive. After cleaning everything possible we were seriously damn shag and to think that we had three people cleaning a room somemore. It took us more than two hours and we still had the full of lizard droppings floor to deal with on Sunday.



So anw i forgot to mention that i FINALLY have a new pair of glasses wooohooo. So now i dont look as old, spinsterish n round anymore. I changed into a new pair which is like quite big and rectangular, mainly black with a pinkish purplish patch at the side and the inside of the glasses is pinkish purplish too. I know it sounds bimbo BUT I INSIST THAT IT'S NOT. It's MODERN, although fine, i look strangely comical and weird in it. Different would be the best word haha.



And, my mum got an oven like FINALLY too so now i can fulfill all my baking dreams and desires. Started with something really simple, almost retarded. Yes, it's Betty Crocker's fudge brownie which could never go wrong even if u want it too. So anw i shall admit that i kinda put in 3/4 cup of oil instead of 2/3 cos somehow i just had the impressions it was 3/4 and anw it turned out kinda oily but definitely still edible and fine haha. As i said, you just cant go wrong with Betty C. Then i moved on to something harder, cornflakes cookies, n not from BC one ok. So anw it was quite cookie like and all crispy on the first day but subsequently it kinda became cornflakes kueh instead. But still, it smells and taste quite nice and i shall insist that it was a success haha.

Excited to be moving back to hall even though it might get a tad lonely since wong isnt moving in yet and suddenly i'm totally away from my family. Anw clubbing here i come!!!
Please don't be mistaken, i m NOT a clubber flubber, just couldn't control my excitement for a moment.

Jig Jac

Life is BitterSweet.

Had many long overdue meet ups with different group of friends recently. Met up with dear old Shanny and best-seat-partner-ever Xiutang for Popeyes, which was mother expensive but well worth the money. Shanny just brings out the retardedness in everybody and we were all mighty unglam everytime she's around, what with her extremely contagious laughter, which is why sometimes we are actually laughing AT her and not WITH her. But anw, we were just laughing non stop, being high on air and loving every minute of it.

Then i met my dear besties, had sushi while bitching, as usual, about the usual people. It was just a comfortable and fulfilling catching up session. It's weird how such simple things can be so satisfying and valuable.

Also met up with my dear little roomie and Tanz, our fellow Mosquitoe and dear old Shanny again. Met up for K-Stering at Chinatown. It was fun smuggling booze and snacks into the rooms and then letting our hair down. We just sang like we've never sang before at the top of our lungs while drowning ourselves with tiger beer and chips. We imitated dance moves, especially Britney's and Rihanna's Umbrella, it was like a mini clubbing session. I just loveeee hanging out with them because it can be sooooo much fun, we were sweating from all the screaming, yelling, jumping and dancing under the hot orange spotlights. I love rare times like this when i can just focus on having fun and not have to think of anything else. Every minute is just pure joy and laughter.

Come to think of it, we've known each other for 7 long years and everyone has changed in their little ways but no matter what we are still able to meet up after long periods of time and have all the fun in the world. Such things really make life worth living for.

The flowers were suppose to bloom and the sky was supposed to be blue.

But the world is full of lies.

And the trees died while the sky turned grey.

Sometimes, i really wish i could bite my tongue and let the blood soak through my shirt.

Sometimes, things just don't turn out the way you expect it to be and you get lost, you simply don't know what to do and all you can do is ride it out.

dustbin powers!

today i came home early. momma and aunty hel made oxtail for dinner :)))

yesterday was fongs bday so we had a smashing time. no alcohol needed haha.
this morning koh texted us all the gayest message ever. something like she had a very nice dream of us all smiling happily. haha i am keeping it! and not just cos i like it either :P

i gave in to momma and worked at my aunts shop for awhile. cos u dont wanna get her pissed off u know?
i am actually doing this ogl thing omg.
i have given up watching the oc.

i am going to redang I AM GONNA GET A TAN!!!

Oh why cant we live like this forever?












my heart cant deal with so much affection <*3
that's an exploding heart btw.

wong out

p/s: bommie i cant wait to see u again! (miley cyrus)

pp/s: tanzi pansy is so fancy!

Hi all i m not dead, i m back.

I know i am a lazy blogger, Wong's overwhelming this blog it's gonna be hers soon haha..so here i am blogging about something that happened two weeks ago. So anyway, this year's Arts Camp is over and done with, really glad i managed to participate in it. It was full of ups and downs. Got to meet an absolutely great OG where everyone's really nice and pleasant and gets along really well. This year's Arts Camp clubbing was at Taboo, a gay club, which was puny, extremely hot and puny once again. I think i perspired more than when i was training. The OG was great fun, many outright, hidden and budding clubbers who were ready to attack the dancefloor.

As for the downs part, don't even get me started, learnt quite a lot from this year's camp, hoping someone would learn somethings too. I get that the truth is always hard to believe and handle, but still it's the truth.

I've decided to practice ZEN and embody ZEN. What i've been doing has not been to my advantage. In fact, perhaps it has been backfiring against me. In my eagerness to help someone gain enlightenment i've turned myself into a monster. I m definitely much better than that. And seriously, i've decided to learn how to LET THINGS GO. It's just not worth it. It's meaningless when i have to keep pushing it, totally meaningless. Guess it's about embracing it but if unfortunately i cant, then i guess there's only one solution.

And i seriously don't like to fight with you. It hurts so much and it makes me hate myself. I hate myself for hurting you even though i don't mean to, i hate myself for using those harsh words, saying those mean things and using that disgusting tone. I just hope you understand where i m coming from. You mean so much to me, which is why i even bother going through it over and over again. Point is, i don't ever want to fight with you again, ever. Fighting with you always brings "hurting" to a new level. It's just not worth it.

School is starting soon = hall = freedom. Unfortunately, it also means that the "mugging" has to start. But it's a fair price to pay for sweet sweet freedom.

Sleepy,
Jig Jac

fast times

first things, i havent seen my dear jackie since forever! like the time we did our hair! zomg. where the hell are u! we are missin u, ok? get ur ass out here!

that aside, it's been major catching up with everyone. yesterday me chung and sj sat at mos burger at ulu sembawang for like, 3 hours? well we were supposed to help sj coach her primary school but i overslept (hey i havent done that in ages ok! i slipped up here..) zomg was all kinds of funny. like sj's og mate punching a ghost that jumped out at them on fright night. something cool, our little brothers are all the same age, and we've all got a sister in between! chung's is 1 yr younger, mine is 2 yrs and sj's is 4. cool!

and like it was really fun doing nothing. like in the canteen after school. that's why i love my friends soooo mucho!

and smashin' mambo nights too! you know, when everyone u know goes cos it's the hols? i'll really really miss that when school starts... dont even wanna think bout it. we found the most hilarious people ever last wed. dudes knew the words to the randomest raps, ok? i was laughing the whole time no kidding!

coupla funny pics. ya i know, everything's funny to me when i'm in a good mood.


obviously tipsy chung



like half of the softballers!




shanny's snr fab belongs in AA. for real.


and i just read what i wrote and i am sorry but right now my underused brain cant handle long sentences. so we'll have to make do with this rambling.

remember guys school's descending upon us now so we gotta make the best of what we have left! have fun!

xoxox

wong out

get me some tissues, i think i have issues

and not in a mopey moony leave-me-to-my-emo-music way either.
more like a RRRAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

there i feel a little better now. cant shout at home. i think my mom hates me. and my dad too. my sister too. only my dog doesnt and that's only cos i feed and walk her.
and i am really upset bout portugal being out. we were still planning sleepovers/sports bar outings for the semis and now this. i dont know, i sed i think i am crazy. i am not even portugese!

ok stop now. maybe i will be in a better mood tmr. my aunty helen's making french fries and sunny side up eggs for breakfast and i know i will get diarrohea after that but it's worth it.

YHSMH
wong out

this heat

back from japan! i got alot of stuff. stuffed my face with my favorite foods. enjoyed the clean toilets. and i think i've gotten more *gasp* polite. hard to be rude when every one is bowing and smiling at u all the time.

i got a pair of batting gloves plus one more extra right hand batting glove for abt SGD60. all mizuno too! which is a really good deal i think cos my last glove was like $35. and that was only one! ok i am feeling rather fuzzy inside now cos i think i got a good deal so if u happen to know that it isnt, you can keep it to yourself and act like i did get one.

i psychotically took a pic of their rows and rows of mitts cos i had no $$ left to get them. plus i just got a new one. they were all leather. in red, tan... i would post it here but i am too damn lazy to get my camera. soon, i promise.

and i conclude that koreans are assholes. they are on par with the chinas. seriously. they look better a little, but they are so rude i dont even know how to deal with that. i was q-ing at the buffet table minding my own biz and this middle aged woman came over and pretended to be looking past my shoulder, and in a split second she shoved her kimchi ass in front of me. i didnt even see it coming! and because i had already become rather polite by then, i didnt know what to say. i loserly contemplated doing the same to her but *GASP* i realised i had forgotten how to be rude! see what a few days in japan can do to you.

so later i went to get water, and this old korean woman came over and started babbling some shit to me. i didnt know wth she was saying so i stupidly stood there and sed, ya it's cold. and in 2 seconds she's in front of me. and in 4 seconds before i could even think up a way to be rude back she was done and gone. nabei.

TWICE IN ONE BLOODY DAY OK. TWICE. i stood no fighting chance at all.

but i did have fun. except i wanted to get this samurai sword, for my brother, but they sed it prob wudden get past customs. nb nb nb. nice scenery good food. i used to not like flowers but i am converted. i'll show u what i mean when i get round to uploading the pics.


today when i woke up, my heart skipped a beat cos i realised it was past mid june. gawd. i can actually count the number of weeks left to when school starts in one hand. which means only that few mambo nights left without school the next day! shit. last night was pretty fun. first cos the whole world was there and i like seeing familiar faces (cept when they wanna join my queue..kidding!), and second cos there were a whole lotta funny ppl.

then after lights on we were slacking on the curb watching ppl puke. some white guys came over and chung went nonononono. in a panicked voice no less. u shld have seen their shocked looks. priceless. good job chung, i rate that high on the rude list. then the friends was like, hey we just want cigarrettes. and i was like i dont have any. and he went, oh cmon they just hate us. classic.

on a sombre note yes i am tryna be funny and writing this in black my bank account is depleting and it's scaring me. that sed, imna get away from this laptop and GET A FRIGGING VACATION JOB. ugh

wong out

Somebody save me, once again.

I sense another cockle coming up. Seriously. I know everyone's SICK of reading about me and my cockles but trust me when i say it's worse to be the one actually HAVING the freaking cockles on your eyes. Like seriously. It's just bubbling, on the brim, all ready to stick it's ugly face out of the bottom lid of my right eye. It's life mission is to cause my eyelids to go BALD, cos do you have any idea that having a cockle actually causes my freaking eyelashes (which i heard once dropped would not grow back) to FALL? And thanks to those previous cockles, i'm now having BALD FREAKING PATCHES on my eyelids, like who the hell has bald patches on their lids? Shouldn't have bought the 16.90 Maybelline "oh-so-powderful" mascara since i wont even get the chance to use it on my sparse lids. (ok i didn't just sound like a Plastic). So now everytime i blink it hurts, i just wish it would leave me alone because unlike OTHERS, i m not ATTENTION GRABBING and so i do not need to have a cockle for everyone to stare at.

So now it's gona make it real hard for me to go to the long awaited Arts Camp, finally back to school, ready to have some fun. Unfortunately, being old friends with Mr Cockle i KNOW it takes like freaking WEEKS to recover, sigh seriously, anyone has any eye medication to recommend? I seriously need it. Don't want to have to go the the camp with Mr Cockle in tow, freaking out all the freshies and most possibly being laughed at.
Then again, it suddenly seems like NOBODY is interested in the camp anymore. What with all the initial excitement about going and having fun and reminiscing those fun arts camp times. It seems like everyone's suddenly busy, lazy or just cant be bothered. It's just kinda disappointing. I am the one who wants to go the arts camp but i am also the one down with the cockle, i swear life is never fair.

Just glad that my dearest is finally back from BKK though soon he'll be away again for many other events and stuff. Well at least i know that no matter what he would definitely be there to accompany me to arts camp. And it's just weird how i can never stop missing him, whether he's actually in Singapore or not.

I m currently drinking Kung Fu milk tea, those who haven't tried it pls doooo, it's DA BOMB, best milk tea in Singapore and it's only 1.90.

And btw, people who self proclaim to be hot are just pathetic. I get that that's what you wanna be, but if you're not, self proclaiming isn't going to get you anywhere. Well haven't you heard that "Ugly is the new beautiful"? I m proud to be ugly.

Wishing that life was simple,
Jig Jac

hai!

japan tmr! sashimi every day! i am estatic!!!!!! hence the excess exclamations. i havent been to japan before. i am not really into japanese culture i guess. that gatsby dude really gets to me and i wanna hit him. but damn they have the best food.

my bank account is dwindling and i really should get a job. aiya i will face reality when i get back. maybe theres someone siphoning money outta my account. must be. singapore is scary. every time i step outta the house i blow a ridiculous amt of $$. and i dont even cab!

today i went out with my parents for a free lunch. shiok. my dad bought me a new bolster. score!

short entry for quick update. sister is invading my wardrobe nb. gtg stop her.

song of the moment : let go by mflo loves yoshika. in prepration for japan haha.

WONG OUT!!! (of singapore) :):):)

no indiana

indiana jones sucked. i usually love special effects but the ones in the movie were crap. the whole thing was just retarded. anyways indiana jones used to be huge in the 80s. i never knew. i always thought it was some ride at disneyland. apparantly the movie was what inspired the ride. wow.

why indiana jones blows:

1) harisson ford as indiana was painful.

i am sure once upon a time the dude was hot. at least according to my parents. for me, harisson ford and hot do not belong in the same sentence. indiana is supposed to be fast moving hero, no? in this movie he moves about as fast as i do when it is raining heavily in the morning and there's school. i spent 2 hours of my life watching an old man throw his whip around lamely.

2) there was a huge snake that freaked the shit outta me.

3) crystal skull? not made by human hands? spaceships? damn that spielberg is obssessed!
did u see the alien like thingys? that thing looked just like an uncute e.t, ok? when i saw the skull and the drawings, and then i remembered that this was a spielberg picture, i realised that i've been conned into letting him sell me the idea that aliens exist. aliens that are superior to humans, who possess knowledge that the human mind cannot handle. nabei.
dude needs to stop insisting that aliens exist. i mean, maybe they do. but incorporating that into an adventure film? indiana? too much man.

4) the fighting sequences were crap. in order to accomodate the slowed reaction time and decreased agility of ford. with all due respect, i'd rather watch the kid in forbidden kingdom fight.

Why i allowed myself to believe for a second that this show might have been ok:

1) shia lebeouf

2) i loved the ride in disneyland. but i forgot that i was 7 then so i loved everything.


DO NOT WATCH.

tonight euro starts. i remember in sec 4 i was obssessed and i was thinking next euro i'll be 19.. so old...must wait so long...
and cristiano was still a kid who just played one season in the EPL, who cried when he lost. now he's the best player on the planet. zidane and figo and no longer playing. portugal is now a favorite and not the underdog.. and greece still sux. and england's not even playing HAHA.

p/s: i think euro owns world cup hands down. cant wait.
pp/s: noone will make me watch satc. NO ONE.

WONG OUT

wow

wow i didnt realise it's been more than a week since i last updated. felt like i just did yesterday.

i watched narnia too, last friday. contrary to what jiggy thinks, i think the first movie owns the second. it was more dramatic and unpredictable, especially when edmund got bought over by the white witch. i felt really bad for edmund in that movie, that poor misunderstood little boy. i've only ever read the first book. when i was 9. it was the first book i ever borrowed from the school library. the teacher took the class there for a compulsory reading session and everyone was supposed to get one book. i remember feeling pressured to borrow one that was sufficiently thick haha. so while i was pretending to read the book i fell into the story and i had alot of fun reading it. haha. but i remember then i was really angry with edmund for being a traitor.

the second movie was ok. by ok i mean no 'oh my god why am i watching this' moments that were so rampant when i was watching step up 2. thing is, it was soo LOTR when the trees joined in the fight. and i got mixed up the centuar with the harry potter centuar and kept referring to him as firenze. zomg. just like when i was watching LOTR i kept calling the gollum thing dobby. as in the dobby the house elve from harry potter. it's like all these writers and friends man.

i guess the first movie had a greater impact on me so i liked it much more. the second movie was decent. i really like the swordfights. my favorite character is edmund hands down no doubt without a fight. u know, like strong kid who is inherently good. i like the lion aslan alot. i dunno. everytime i see a movie with a cute animal i keep feeling the urge to change my dog's name to that for awhile. i've changed my dog's name to aslan, lightning (zorro's horse. i think it was lightning), dobby, seabiscut...

so my moms getting really serious about making me get a job. guess she didnt realise how serious i was when i sed i wanted to bum around these hols. uh, sadly, i think i am gonna give in and get a job.

singapore got thrashed by uzbekistan on monday. my crazy bro brought the flag down to the stadium and hung it onthe railings. our flag came out in today's paper! cool! haha. it was like a tennis game at first with them scoring first and us scoring right back for the first coupla goals but then after we conceded the fourth goal there was no going back. luckily the tix were only $2 or i would be pretty miffed. i think most ppl watching were malays and they were yelling putoh at the uzbekistan goalie cos he was a faking asshole. and they were making it into a cheer. i didnt know what putoh was but we yelled along. then later my mahd friend told me it meant dick. uh ok. so now i know one more cuss word haha.

and my friend fel whom i've known since forever just got back from her europe tour. me my sis and bro went along with her family to fetch her from the airport for fun. i love the airport! the way it smells and the shiny floors and the trolleys and the screens. even if i'm not flying off anywhere i feel like i am.

and 2007 league is over. just when everyone was starting to play well. pretty good seeing familiar faces and having decent conversations with ppl i used to play against. now trg quite slack haha. mostly correcting batting no need to sweat alot. yesterday i got omega owned by this pitcher leonard's ball. oh my god mother fast. and i have this stupid habit of releasing the bat mid-swing so i got stung. the baddest sting ever. and i want to season my new glove. cant wait.

ok i am like rambling cos i've been home the whole day today. flu. how untimely. so anyways i was supposed to rest but i couldnt stop talking so now the family's sick of my voice and threatening to hit me so i have no choice but to talk here. i am like a prisoner in my own home. not allowed to talk?! goodness gracious me.

so that just about sums up my past week. i've been uncomfortably close to 'busy' for someone supposed to be doing nothing. i will not be busy. i dislike the idea of being 'busy'. but right now this suits me just fine. this is the life baby. why oh why cant it always stay this way.

WONG the flu-bird OUT

Entry of Princess Caspian *ok i m allowed to be slaughtered for calling myself princess*

Watched Narnia today, it was much better than expected, especially in comparison to the first one which was quite childish and actionless. This time the tone was much more serious, there was definitely more depth and substance. The wars were more exciting and well fought. And of cause, one important factor is the presence of a mightily cute character, Prince Caspian!!! And his cuteeee accent, omg i can't believe i just said that. But he's seriously damn cute. All in all, this time Narnia reminds me very much of Lord of the Rings, my all time favourite movie. What with the BEAUUUUTIFUL scenery, CENTAURS!!, dwarfs, archers, scenes where the enemy seems so overwhelming with its row upon row of soldiers VS the quite pathetic good guys, walking moving trees that come out to help at the last minute, rivers that come to life to help as well. Well basically i love such epic movies with major, impossible wars that ultimately turn out to be victorious and at least a mighty cute character (Legolas, Prince Caspian). Then again, anything i watch with my dearest is enjoyable.

Speaking of which, he is leaving for Bangkok coming morning. Will be gone for 6 DAYS 5 NIGHTS, too looonnnnggg, given that it's Bangkok heh. Would be torturous, no msges, no nightly phone calls and no possible meet ups. But i shall bear in mind that: Absence makes the heart grows fonder. Yes, i will jian chi.

Sometimes, it seems that the world is all about compromising, it's a matter of who does so most of the time. And i so happen to have a "talent" for it.

It is such a two-edged sword. I sadistically wish it would happen, all the possible drama and what not. I was strangely disappointed to hear what i thought i would be glad to hear. It's strange how in almost every phase of my life there would be people who would just really get to me, sometimes for no good reason. Well, what can i say, nobody is perfect and i m no exception. So pardon me for feeling the way i'm feeling, after all, i'm only human.

Jig Jac

chill pills for june hols

every long holiday i try and do things that i used to do before life got busy. i cant even remember when this busy-ness crept into my life. as much as i can, i try and keep life simple and relaxed. but alas, the universe has a way of throwing regulations and appointments and deadlines in your face.

my brother and sister start their june holidays today. i dont have june holidays any more. i have a three month holiday where i am expected to get an internship/job.
my best june holiday was in '98. in americanese, that's summer of '98. my friend mel would wake me up at 7 in the morning by yelling for me at my window. and i wont even get pissed off. then i roll outta bed and within seconds we are cycling to this drain near our houses and catch fish. i was pretty good at it. i could catch like more than ten fish in one morning but usually they would all be dead by night. nb. and we used to try tricks on our bikes all the time. i could make my bike turn left and right very very fast without using hands. something i am still quite proud off. unfortunately one of the kaypoh neighbors went and told my dad 'i saw your girl doing something dangerous' which my dad believed and banned me from showing off. and because i was 9 i got the impression that all my neighbors were spying on me so i didnt dare do that trick again after that.

and once we climbed a tree cos we were learning about bird nest ferns in school. like how they reproduced by spores and all that. we saw a bird nest fern plant and we wanted to see if it really had spores so i climbed the tree to pluck one leaf. we got spotted by this police car patrolling the estate and the guy was like 'what are u doing' and we got really really scared but i cant remember what happened after that just that they left us alone.

and we used to be really annoying and steal mangoes and rambutans. there was this house that grew mangoes in their backyard and i climed the wall to get to the top branch where the mangoes were. then the owner came out and we omega freaked. mel was friend enough not to run off and leave me up there haha. i uh kinda fell off cos i was so scared but i landed ok so i didnt break anything and mel got my slippers and we ran for our bikes. i remember the owner yelling after us to come back haha. come to think of it she always made me climb things first, or if there was a drain we didnt know led where she made me go first. not that i minded much i think.

once we were sneaking around some back alley behind some houses(cant remember for what). there was this house with a very low back wall so we could see str8 into the kitchen. anyays the owner came down to th kitchen in his underwear!!! we omega omega freaked out cos uh
1) it was a man in his underwear
2) we were damn scared he'd think we were peeping toms and get the police haha

so we crouched behind the wall for damn long. luckily we were small then cos the wall was damn low. if i try and hide there now the guy confirm see me at once. then we could hear him flipping newspapers and drinking stuff (all the time in his underwear omg) but we didnt dare move. then after like one million years we hear footsteps walking away and by then we were cramped up quite badly.

but sadly mel moved away and i lost the best playmate ever. i dont even remember much of the rest of primary school holidays without her. then secondary school came along and it was intensio softball every holiday. and before i knew it was time for jc and then uni forced itself into my life.

of course now i cant and i dont want to steal magoes anymore. but prior to busy-ness i liked having dinner at home and watching tv while eating (my mom hates it when i do that). today i finally managed to catch some prime time tv. so i used my 'tv bowl' which is an extremely big bowl so that i can fit my rice and all the other dishes in it and bring it to the living room in front of the tv. today i watched the arena. some debate show and it was betweeh NYGH and RI. i was supporting NY of course, but i grudgingly admit that RI did better. last time in NY we had to take debates as an english elective and we pissed the hell outta mrs minjoot ( who always talks about this pro debater sheila parker) cos we kept abusing point of information to interrupt this girl who liked to act pro. it made the lesson pass faster. mrs minjoot retired the next year along with our chinese teacher pan yin.

now some of my friends relief teach, and now that i am older i understand how bloody irritating we were and i really respect my teachers for tolerating the shit. tsk i dont remember how 13-yr-old me functioned. i bet like in 5 years or even less i wont remember how 19-yr-old me functions now. speaking which, i cant imagine being 24. or even 22 (which is when i have to start working omg!!!!!!)

ok now back to 2008. must enjoy the relac time. btw next monday got world cup qualifying match singapre vs uzbekistan. please support the lions! live at 7.25 pm.

wong the grateful out :)

I need a reason to not hate myself.

Don't understand why people seem to think that i'm incapable of doing it. So what makes me so "special"? Do i really come across as a spoilt, pampered and useless girl who's unable to even carry a few plates? So those other girls can handle it and i cant? And it's not like i am underestimating the job scope and whatnot, i do quite know what i'm in for. Even if it's true that i might not be able to do it, isn't the whole point then to gain new experiences and learn new things by trying it out? I just need people to have faith in me instead of putting me down. I need people to say "it's actually quite ok la" with NO BUTS after it and instead, "you should be able to do it". It amazes me how people seem to think i m so incapable and it's time i prove them wrong. I guess i just expected more faith and support, especially from some people, but needless to say i was greatly disappointed. You know what would be helpful? Stop finding excuses to push me away, how about just saying it in my face?

I don't like the ambiguity, how i can never be sure whose side you are on, especially in this case, since in others, you're always clearly by my side. I don't like how you are so quick to defend, even doubting my words. Perhaps due to the long years, a special place is created in your heart, one even you don't know it exists, but it's there, i can see it. Sometimes, your silence is so painful, i know you don't agree but you can't point it out for fear of upsetting me, which then makes me hate myself. I don't like how you think that her "youthful sweet innocence" renders her incapable of scheming and manipulation, simply because it's not done in your face, which is the whole point of being scheming. She definitely means more to you than you wish to admit.

I wish i m more than this you know? The consequences are really not worth it and it's truly a form of self torture. And frankly speaking, there is nothing much we can do about it. And guess what you are not the only one that's being put in a spot, if only you knew. Though this does not make me hate myself any less, i know what i am doing to you.

And i have a reason for hiding these feelings and emotions, so please don't ask me about these. Do me a favour, let me breathe.

time to play ball!

today we played 2 games and i got sunburnt. which is a fair trade for how i am feeling now cos i played better than i have in a long time. i found my mojo! softball beats hockey and any other game hands down! i feel incredibly strong right now. i say my favorite thing is the sliding. only in the diamond you get to do that without looking crazy. the not so nice thing is that both my knees are infected and the pus keeps flowing. i look like i've got some disease. and i cant wear jeans to hide them cos i will just stain my jeans.

i caught speed racer the other day in a near empty theatre. so we stuck our legs up on the seats and commented loudly about everything like rain's english and the hilarious fat kid in the show. there were some little boys sitting near us but they didnt ask us to shut up cos they were talking pretty loudly themselves. speed racer is pretty damn good especially the effects haha. no worries i am not gonna dissect it like i did step up 2. there's nothing more i love than a movie that turns out as retarded as i expected it to be.

ok not feeling too coherant now will update later if i feel like it. the holidays are passing too fast this is sooo unfair. at this rate i wont get to finish the oc and school will be in my face and then exams will come and they will take too long to be over. i gotta break this murphy's law.

wong out

i got it from my mama. really.

i am so upset my hair is curling again after what, less than a frigging week. and in a weird way too. ayuda.

NO MORE BORING UPDATES!!! No more no more no moooorrrreeee (pls sing acc. to the "No One" tune)

Seriously cant stand it HAVE TO BITCH..though only those who watch naruto would understand...seriously WHAT THE HELL..Sakura is the USELESS..like in ALL and i mean ALL battles so far she has just STOOD AT THE SIDE AND DO NOTHING cept shout time from time: "Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun" which makes me want to slap her fat face. I mean seriously, you are suppose to be a ninja, in a strong group summore, like eh did you sleep your way in? Cos like i've not seen any remotely cool or powerful moves from her yet and i'm into episode 28 alr. So the only established thing about her is her intelligence, which btw comes from MUGGING, not even like inborn urgh. Oh and her huge forehead which another character like to make fun of. Ok come to think of it, it's just those japan anime writers who are SEXIST, make females seem so weak and lousy. Like seriously so far alllll the strong and powerful characters are MALES, what rubbish is that..though fine fine the anime is da bomb but still GENDER EQUALITY please. She really just stands at the side holds both her fists to her chin and squeals non stop. COOL.

Have been finally keeping in touch with the outside world since coming back from hall and heard all about the Sichuan earthquake, which is just plain sad. I mean yes it's true i m not a fan of cheena poks but at times like this you just cant help feeling sorry for them. Kids who have to be decapitated to preserve their lives and who cry out that they don't want to lose their arms or at least not both arms cos they want to continue writing and learning but it's not possible cos retaining them would endanger their lives. It's just damn sad. Then there's also Myanmar, plus its corrupted shithole of a government who only give out a small part of the donated stuff to the people while the rest are kept to be sold in the future to make profits. These people would burn in hell i tell you. How could they even possibly have the heart to do something like that. In a way the Myanmar ppl are worse off since they don't have a supportive useful government. At least for China, the prime minister has been really effective, going down to the disaster struck place personally and showing much genuine concern. The army is also HUGE and is able to like help in many ways. And not forgetting how China ppl just have a knack to really UNITE in tough times it's amazing. Those that survived actually cooked to feed those in need and helped out as much as possible, which is really heartwarming. If it happened in Spore, everyone would just grab their own things and run and stay out of trouble as much as possible. They would go the distance to escape as far as possible and not to help. How nice.

So updates on mr cockle..i've decided to TAKE A STAND, ok more like i was forced to take a stand by my parents. They decided to not waste the money on a doc and be doctors themselves. So my mum pinned me onto the sofa while my dad took a sterilised needle and poked mr cockle. Those who just ate or are about to pls avoid the next section:
So then pus oooooozed out like free from the hole like really a truckload of pus came out and my mum had to clean them off repeatedly while squealing at the side "OMG it's so disgusting, it's so gross", very helpful. Me? I was trying hard not to panic my life away.
So after the pus, out squirts the blood, which is MUCH MORE than the amount of pus. It was like a Titanic load. Quite alot of it got into my eyes, which was shit painful btw while my mum use tissue after tissue to wipe off the rest. Heart pain, cos waste alot of tissue *Live Earth Live Earth!!*.
All in all, IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE i tell you. It was q traumatizing but i'm just glad i din have to waste the money to see the doc and today it has significantly decreased in size and it's NOT PAINFUL ANYMORE!! So aft the whole ordeal, i did a Gay dance all over the living room with my legs crisscrossing rapidly, hands flailing and whatnot, which annoyed my mum who was trying to watch the news HEH.

And i m in the mood to kill. Who? I'll reveal personally, not in the blog though heh.

Feeling weirdly hyper,
Jig Jac

Yes i haven't been blogging because i'm just too busy enjoying myself after exams haha ok not really i m just lazy..now that i don't have to turn to blogging to escape from studying.

This year's birthday has been one of the best i've had so far..had two successful surprises which totally caught me off guard, one by my tuition besties and another by dear denise and wong along wif my hall OG mates. Have always been the one surprising ppl during their birthdays and so i'm really glad i was finally surprised haha..really thankful for such great friends who go to such lengths to make my bday so memorable. And of cos, it's great to be able to spend birthdays with the loved one who put in soooo much effort into the present and brought me to Phin's steakhouse, which was da man.

Just finished watching antm and spoilers ahead warning.......

Whitney won, wonder if they are just trying to make a statement that slightly bigger ppl can make it too..well anw she's pretty enough.

Currently into Naruto and all sorts of new anime..which are taking up most of my time haha which explains the lack of blogging..

And it's the attack of the cockle yet again..now it's my right top eyelid that's swollen, not as big and badly but it's still bad..let's jus say mr cockle is acting cute this time..it's like a blob drooping over my eyes..which made everything i watch less enjoyable and clear..seriously..i've had enough of this..managed to cover it quite well during clubbing this wed with thick eyeliner heh..i tink it sort of made it worse..oh well the stupid crazy things girls do for beauty..

Ok this is a boring entry i realise..must be because i m not in the blogging mood heh..ok promise to do better next time.

Promise never to eat cockles again,
Jig Jac

taste summa this freedom

wong in da house! omg the disgusting exams ended last sat and i still havent been getting enough sleep, but this time in a nice way, not cos of class or schoolwork. life rox baby! all those still having exams, hang in there cos it'll be over sooner than u realise and then it's back to sunny singapore with yours truly! cant wait to learn driving and go white water rafting and play ball and laze arnd at home. omg. this is the life!
anyways yesterday i finally conformed and got my hair straightened. i look like generic singapore girl now. next thing i know i will be getting double eyelids. and red/gold highlights. and start carrying a tote bag. but i suppose it was time to change la. i havent had straight hair since that frighful morning when i was twelve and woke with a curl in my fringe. and another the next morning. and another the next morning. u get the idea. i suppose straight hair is more manageable. it doesnt ever get messy. i dont get an afro when i wake up. pretty cool. some of my friends like the big hair more, and i miss it a little, but it'll grow back la so i'm gonna try get used to this in the mean time. ooh i just wrote a whole paragraph about my hair. win already la haha.
k off to watch gossip girl. oh yeaaaaaaaa

wong out

OMG

i gotta hang in here till saturday. damn i always end last outta the whole wide world. after SEA paper this evening i was K.O like major major. so i wandered around kicking scruffy and eating people's food to restore my brain cells. i dunno wth i am still awake now when just now during the paper i wanted to sleep so bad.
i cant believe this is almost the end of year one. no more a freshie! zomg. gotta move out of hall like almost immediately after my last paper :( why the hell do they hafta chase us out so fast.. save electricity ah. some part of me is damn excited bout the three long delicious months. like i've got a whole list of things i cant wait to do! i dont want the three months to end, but i am quite excited bout school nx yr. like IHG and everything. am i losing my mind?! hols havent even started, EXAMS NOT EVEN OVER..
i want to eat sashimi

wong out

it's way too hot in here

these few days have been omega shagggggg no kidding. sweat like hell. my room is disgusting.





yea that's how it kinda looks like.

i sweat so much i am thirsty all the time and i have to keep going down to refill my water jug. which makes seat even more. coupled with the panic when u realise u have uh 8 undone tutorials, it's too much i tell u.

so yesterday bring queen of avoiding-what-i-need-to-do, i thought i'd take a break and go down and play bball. we ended up playing with tiff's skateboard. tiff is pretty good on the skateboard. while me angel and grace took turns skating. by which i mean falling. i hit my chin on the damn floor. uh, how do u even hit ur chin on the floor!!? omg i got bruised pretty badly. by the time i forced my ass back to my room it was almost eleven. then i panicked again and went n showered (for a million years under the cold water). and migrated to the lounge cos it was too damn hot. damn hot. damn hot. i did a little work and wandered downstairs...and ended up watching the simple life on celeste's laptop. knn. i wasted like half an hour of my life on that paris. then i forced myself back up.. did a little work and then guess what hannah live streamed the man u- barca match on her laptop and i uh ended up watching. fuuuuckkkkk. at least we won. way to go favorite redhead! i did like one question during half time.

you know what, right now imna wander about youtube for awhile and then get some work done. i must i must. i dont even know how i spend my time. i wander arnd doing stupid stuff and before i know it it's warly morning and i am still awake and unaccomplished. and yes i do like writing like a sec sch girl consolidating her day. btw hall dinner was FUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK. i got damn moody after i saw the food. thank goodness i've got pepperidge in my room.

stay strong guys,

xoxo wong

this will be me.


song of the moment: online games by blink 182

I'm talkin' metaphorically

hello world i'm alive. past week was an awful combi of panic and lethargy. next week is torture time cos uh.. i like to torture myself.

anyways i am in love with the '90s. the cheesy songs and grungy-ugly clothes. right now i am caught up with old school no doubt when gwen stefani was still le omega cool in her red pleather dress instead singing bout harajuku girls now. damn i wish i were a little older. not by much, maybe like 5 or 6 years so i could have been there when no doubt went mainstream and when they made songs like sugarhigh. speaking of which, song of the moment: sugar high by coyote shivers. it's deliciously retarded.
and yes i consider children aged 6 and under to be nonexistant. parents, if u bring ur under-6 children out, u should really leash them or carry them. cos i cannot see them and if i kick them it really isnt my fault. speaking of which, once i was running really fast along the corridors of IMM. cos they close pretty early and then got nobody mah then damn nice to run. i think someone was chasing me la then i was looking behind and this baby appeared outta nowhere and i was going so fast i couldnt stop, i had to jump over it. so its mom got really mad and my mom was really embarrassed and she hit me in front of the woman to appease her. like wth. how can u let ur baby who can barely walk wander off like that... luckily my reflexes good if not the stupid baby hit the ceiling alr.

shoutout to sq cos i know u read this regularly haha : u called when i was slping and u know i cant talk when i just wake! call me again when u're free i will talk more nx time man. pardon the grouchiness haha :P

i feel damn stupid now la. i forced myself not to watch tomb raider and i get hooked on youtube instead?! damn. not worth it man. two. more. weeks.

ooh and if you're bored and u like chris brown, type chris brown grammys on youtube. roxox.

WONG OUT

Weird Weird Weird!!!

The whole world has finished their exams and by the whole world i mean NTU and SMU. What is this. Sigh..this torture seems abit never ending.

Today has been a "weird phone call day". First thing in the morning received a phone call from a mediacorp person saying that i've been nominated by my friends to take part in the youth edition of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire that's coming out soon. Like eh...ok..i was just caught damn off guard, didn't even know how to react. I mean i don't even know if it's true la. The person even conducted a phone interview with me, asking me about my IQ (which i don't know since i've never taken such tests) and PSLE scores and secondary school attended. Then they asked how many people i would bring to support me if i were chosen and i just randomly said 20 given how i was still in shock and kinda feeling sceptical about the whole thing. Anyway, if it's even the real thing (though i really can't imagine who the hell would nominate me to take part in such a show, unless that person has the intention of embarrassing me on national tv given how stupid i am), i basically majorly screwed up the interview cos i was using my "is this some kind of joke can you please go away" tone and not the bubbly, confident tone that usually gets people through interviews to be on tv. So anyway, i sounded pretty hostile and i was totally controlling the urge to say "haha who are you, don't play already la, stop lying". But the thing is she sounded damn serious la and was like saying stuff like even if you don't win the million dollars at least you'll get the chance to be on national tv. Like eh ok i m sure i would love to appear on national tv looking like that and given my "intelligence". I'll just go there and use all the 3 helplines in the first 3 questions. How nice. Anyway, i would most probably die of nervousness on the way there so yaa.

Then in the afternoon i received another weird call of the century telling me that a friend who went for some photoshoot put my name n contact down n i was randomly picked to undergo a makeover with two looks, one casual and one glamour. And it's all free with like 2 makeups, 2 hairdos and clothes. WEIRD!!! Then photos would be taken of me and put into CD Rom. And the person even ask me to bring my family along to take a free family photo. Like seriously, what is the world coming to? True or not? True or not? So the person said she'll call me back again tmr and check if my family would go along. The woman was all serious yet again. Damns i m confused. Anyway why would i need a casual and glamour shot of me taken? So i guess i won't be going for it, even if it's real. Scarly they make me go there and kidnap me, or force me to star in some porn (then again the moment they see me they would be like "ok thanks for coming, but there's something wrong with our camera today" or things along this line) haha. So no worries as for that heh.

Sick of studying and wondering if i actually imagined those calls due to stress heh,
Jig Jac

Studying has been grossly slow and unproductive. The library is just swarming wif people recently it's hard to breathe in there. And ya assholes should just stop being total hoggers and taking up two seats using their bags. How about being considerate and freeing the space for others? I mean no point going to such extents to eliminate competition. Seriously, your bag wouldn't cry out in pain if you leave it on the floor.

Sorry about the total angstiness, just damn sick of progressing so slowly in studies and feeling bad about it while still continuing to slack and waste my life away.

My secret love for anime is reignited again by my dearest recently. NOT GOOD, NOT GOOD AT ALL. Wrong time to be into it man. But i just have to comment how Death Note is da bomb. Ya ya i know i'm abit lag, but that's cos i used to think that it had like 100 plus episodes so i can't be bothered to continue and have to stick to it. Not into long long term commitments haha. Then i realise it's only 30 plus episodes, WOOHOO, so i'm into it yet again, including many other new animes. Damns, i need to FOCUS. Anw, isn't Light suppose to be cute? He's damn ugly in the real life movie though, how disappointing. He's like kinda chubby and all, the only part about him that looks like the comic character Light is the hair shape and color i think. How pathetic is that.

Sad, bad news today. Sigh, jy's poor little gollum lookalike kitten that i always hold and carry has died. It's just plain sad. Apparently it starved to death. It's just plain sad. Just went to visit the other cute little kitten and it's all scrawny and boney and pale and sick looking - it's so worrying. It's like you can feel it's spine and ribs jutting out when u hold it now. But somehow it's more active, it even struggled to stand up and walk abit just now and i was so happy to see that. Just hope the thinness and all is part and parcel of growing up.Weird how i can feel so much for something that's not even mine.

Just because exams are round the corner does not give me the right to binge and stuff myself with snacks on the pretext of studying. Someone please knock this into my head.

Only one thing to look forward in life,
Jac