every long holiday i try and do things that i used to do before life got busy. i cant even remember when this busy-ness crept into my life. as much as i can, i try and keep life simple and relaxed. but alas, the universe has a way of throwing regulations and appointments and deadlines in your face.
my brother and sister start their june holidays today. i dont have june holidays any more. i have a three month holiday where i am expected to get an internship/job.
my best june holiday was in '98. in americanese, that's summer of '98. my friend mel would wake me up at 7 in the morning by yelling for me at my window. and i wont even get pissed off. then i roll outta bed and within seconds we are cycling to this drain near our houses and catch fish. i was pretty good at it. i could catch like more than ten fish in one morning but usually they would all be dead by night. nb. and we used to try tricks on our bikes all the time. i could make my bike turn left and right very very fast without using hands. something i am still quite proud off. unfortunately one of the kaypoh neighbors went and told my dad 'i saw your girl doing something dangerous' which my dad believed and banned me from showing off. and because i was 9 i got the impression that all my neighbors were spying on me so i didnt dare do that trick again after that.
and once we climbed a tree cos we were learning about bird nest ferns in school. like how they reproduced by spores and all that. we saw a bird nest fern plant and we wanted to see if it really had spores so i climbed the tree to pluck one leaf. we got spotted by this police car patrolling the estate and the guy was like 'what are u doing' and we got really really scared but i cant remember what happened after that just that they left us alone.
and we used to be really annoying and steal mangoes and rambutans. there was this house that grew mangoes in their backyard and i climed the wall to get to the top branch where the mangoes were. then the owner came out and we omega freaked. mel was friend enough not to run off and leave me up there haha. i uh kinda fell off cos i was so scared but i landed ok so i didnt break anything and mel got my slippers and we ran for our bikes. i remember the owner yelling after us to come back haha. come to think of it she always made me climb things first, or if there was a drain we didnt know led where she made me go first. not that i minded much i think.
once we were sneaking around some back alley behind some houses(cant remember for what). there was this house with a very low back wall so we could see str8 into the kitchen. anyays the owner came down to th kitchen in his underwear!!! we omega omega freaked out cos uh
1) it was a man in his underwear
2) we were damn scared he'd think we were peeping toms and get the police haha
so we crouched behind the wall for damn long. luckily we were small then cos the wall was damn low. if i try and hide there now the guy confirm see me at once. then we could hear him flipping newspapers and drinking stuff (all the time in his underwear omg) but we didnt dare move. then after like one million years we hear footsteps walking away and by then we were cramped up quite badly.
but sadly mel moved away and i lost the best playmate ever. i dont even remember much of the rest of primary school holidays without her. then secondary school came along and it was intensio softball every holiday. and before i knew it was time for jc and then uni forced itself into my life.
of course now i cant and i dont want to steal magoes anymore. but prior to busy-ness i liked having dinner at home and watching tv while eating (my mom hates it when i do that). today i finally managed to catch some prime time tv. so i used my 'tv bowl' which is an extremely big bowl so that i can fit my rice and all the other dishes in it and bring it to the living room in front of the tv. today i watched the arena. some debate show and it was betweeh NYGH and RI. i was supporting NY of course, but i grudgingly admit that RI did better. last time in NY we had to take debates as an english elective and we pissed the hell outta mrs minjoot ( who always talks about this pro debater sheila parker) cos we kept abusing point of information to interrupt this girl who liked to act pro. it made the lesson pass faster. mrs minjoot retired the next year along with our chinese teacher pan yin.
now some of my friends relief teach, and now that i am older i understand how bloody irritating we were and i really respect my teachers for tolerating the shit. tsk i dont remember how 13-yr-old me functioned. i bet like in 5 years or even less i wont remember how 19-yr-old me functions now. speaking which, i cant imagine being 24. or even 22 (which is when i have to start working omg!!!!!!)
ok now back to 2008. must enjoy the relac time. btw next monday got world cup qualifying match singapre vs uzbekistan. please support the lions! live at 7.25 pm.
wong the grateful out :)
Monday, May 26, 2008
I need a reason to not hate myself.
Don't understand why people seem to think that i'm incapable of doing it. So what makes me so "special"? Do i really come across as a spoilt, pampered and useless girl who's unable to even carry a few plates? So those other girls can handle it and i cant? And it's not like i am underestimating the job scope and whatnot, i do quite know what i'm in for. Even if it's true that i might not be able to do it, isn't the whole point then to gain new experiences and learn new things by trying it out? I just need people to have faith in me instead of putting me down. I need people to say "it's actually quite ok la" with NO BUTS after it and instead, "you should be able to do it". It amazes me how people seem to think i m so incapable and it's time i prove them wrong. I guess i just expected more faith and support, especially from some people, but needless to say i was greatly disappointed. You know what would be helpful? Stop finding excuses to push me away, how about just saying it in my face?
I don't like the ambiguity, how i can never be sure whose side you are on, especially in this case, since in others, you're always clearly by my side. I don't like how you are so quick to defend, even doubting my words. Perhaps due to the long years, a special place is created in your heart, one even you don't know it exists, but it's there, i can see it. Sometimes, your silence is so painful, i know you don't agree but you can't point it out for fear of upsetting me, which then makes me hate myself. I don't like how you think that her "youthful sweet innocence" renders her incapable of scheming and manipulation, simply because it's not done in your face, which is the whole point of being scheming. She definitely means more to you than you wish to admit.
I wish i m more than this you know? The consequences are really not worth it and it's truly a form of self torture. And frankly speaking, there is nothing much we can do about it. And guess what you are not the only one that's being put in a spot, if only you knew. Though this does not make me hate myself any less, i know what i am doing to you.
And i have a reason for hiding these feelings and emotions, so please don't ask me about these. Do me a favour, let me breathe.
I don't like the ambiguity, how i can never be sure whose side you are on, especially in this case, since in others, you're always clearly by my side. I don't like how you are so quick to defend, even doubting my words. Perhaps due to the long years, a special place is created in your heart, one even you don't know it exists, but it's there, i can see it. Sometimes, your silence is so painful, i know you don't agree but you can't point it out for fear of upsetting me, which then makes me hate myself. I don't like how you think that her "youthful sweet innocence" renders her incapable of scheming and manipulation, simply because it's not done in your face, which is the whole point of being scheming. She definitely means more to you than you wish to admit.
I wish i m more than this you know? The consequences are really not worth it and it's truly a form of self torture. And frankly speaking, there is nothing much we can do about it. And guess what you are not the only one that's being put in a spot, if only you knew. Though this does not make me hate myself any less, i know what i am doing to you.
And i have a reason for hiding these feelings and emotions, so please don't ask me about these. Do me a favour, let me breathe.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
time to play ball!
today we played 2 games and i got sunburnt. which is a fair trade for how i am feeling now cos i played better than i have in a long time. i found my mojo! softball beats hockey and any other game hands down! i feel incredibly strong right now. i say my favorite thing is the sliding. only in the diamond you get to do that without looking crazy. the not so nice thing is that both my knees are infected and the pus keeps flowing. i look like i've got some disease. and i cant wear jeans to hide them cos i will just stain my jeans.
i caught speed racer the other day in a near empty theatre. so we stuck our legs up on the seats and commented loudly about everything like rain's english and the hilarious fat kid in the show. there were some little boys sitting near us but they didnt ask us to shut up cos they were talking pretty loudly themselves. speed racer is pretty damn good especially the effects haha. no worries i am not gonna dissect it like i did step up 2. there's nothing more i love than a movie that turns out as retarded as i expected it to be.
ok not feeling too coherant now will update later if i feel like it. the holidays are passing too fast this is sooo unfair. at this rate i wont get to finish the oc and school will be in my face and then exams will come and they will take too long to be over. i gotta break this murphy's law.
wong out
i caught speed racer the other day in a near empty theatre. so we stuck our legs up on the seats and commented loudly about everything like rain's english and the hilarious fat kid in the show. there were some little boys sitting near us but they didnt ask us to shut up cos they were talking pretty loudly themselves. speed racer is pretty damn good especially the effects haha. no worries i am not gonna dissect it like i did step up 2. there's nothing more i love than a movie that turns out as retarded as i expected it to be.
ok not feeling too coherant now will update later if i feel like it. the holidays are passing too fast this is sooo unfair. at this rate i wont get to finish the oc and school will be in my face and then exams will come and they will take too long to be over. i gotta break this murphy's law.
wong out
Monday, May 19, 2008
i got it from my mama. really.
i am so upset my hair is curling again after what, less than a frigging week. and in a weird way too. ayuda.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
NO MORE BORING UPDATES!!! No more no more no moooorrrreeee (pls sing acc. to the "No One" tune)
Seriously cant stand it HAVE TO BITCH..though only those who watch naruto would understand...seriously WHAT THE HELL..Sakura is the USELESS..like in ALL and i mean ALL battles so far she has just STOOD AT THE SIDE AND DO NOTHING cept shout time from time: "Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun" which makes me want to slap her fat face. I mean seriously, you are suppose to be a ninja, in a strong group summore, like eh did you sleep your way in? Cos like i've not seen any remotely cool or powerful moves from her yet and i'm into episode 28 alr. So the only established thing about her is her intelligence, which btw comes from MUGGING, not even like inborn urgh. Oh and her huge forehead which another character like to make fun of. Ok come to think of it, it's just those japan anime writers who are SEXIST, make females seem so weak and lousy. Like seriously so far alllll the strong and powerful characters are MALES, what rubbish is that..though fine fine the anime is da bomb but still GENDER EQUALITY please. She really just stands at the side holds both her fists to her chin and squeals non stop. COOL.
Have been finally keeping in touch with the outside world since coming back from hall and heard all about the Sichuan earthquake, which is just plain sad. I mean yes it's true i m not a fan of cheena poks but at times like this you just cant help feeling sorry for them. Kids who have to be decapitated to preserve their lives and who cry out that they don't want to lose their arms or at least not both arms cos they want to continue writing and learning but it's not possible cos retaining them would endanger their lives. It's just damn sad. Then there's also Myanmar, plus its corrupted shithole of a government who only give out a small part of the donated stuff to the people while the rest are kept to be sold in the future to make profits. These people would burn in hell i tell you. How could they even possibly have the heart to do something like that. In a way the Myanmar ppl are worse off since they don't have a supportive useful government. At least for China, the prime minister has been really effective, going down to the disaster struck place personally and showing much genuine concern. The army is also HUGE and is able to like help in many ways. And not forgetting how China ppl just have a knack to really UNITE in tough times it's amazing. Those that survived actually cooked to feed those in need and helped out as much as possible, which is really heartwarming. If it happened in Spore, everyone would just grab their own things and run and stay out of trouble as much as possible. They would go the distance to escape as far as possible and not to help. How nice.
So updates on mr cockle..i've decided to TAKE A STAND, ok more like i was forced to take a stand by my parents. They decided to not waste the money on a doc and be doctors themselves. So my mum pinned me onto the sofa while my dad took a sterilised needle and poked mr cockle. Those who just ate or are about to pls avoid the next section:
So then pus oooooozed out like free from the hole like really a truckload of pus came out and my mum had to clean them off repeatedly while squealing at the side "OMG it's so disgusting, it's so gross", very helpful. Me? I was trying hard not to panic my life away.
So after the pus, out squirts the blood, which is MUCH MORE than the amount of pus. It was like a Titanic load. Quite alot of it got into my eyes, which was shit painful btw while my mum use tissue after tissue to wipe off the rest. Heart pain, cos waste alot of tissue *Live Earth Live Earth!!*.
All in all, IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE i tell you. It was q traumatizing but i'm just glad i din have to waste the money to see the doc and today it has significantly decreased in size and it's NOT PAINFUL ANYMORE!! So aft the whole ordeal, i did a Gay dance all over the living room with my legs crisscrossing rapidly, hands flailing and whatnot, which annoyed my mum who was trying to watch the news HEH.
And i m in the mood to kill. Who? I'll reveal personally, not in the blog though heh.
Feeling weirdly hyper,
Jig Jac
Have been finally keeping in touch with the outside world since coming back from hall and heard all about the Sichuan earthquake, which is just plain sad. I mean yes it's true i m not a fan of cheena poks but at times like this you just cant help feeling sorry for them. Kids who have to be decapitated to preserve their lives and who cry out that they don't want to lose their arms or at least not both arms cos they want to continue writing and learning but it's not possible cos retaining them would endanger their lives. It's just damn sad. Then there's also Myanmar, plus its corrupted shithole of a government who only give out a small part of the donated stuff to the people while the rest are kept to be sold in the future to make profits. These people would burn in hell i tell you. How could they even possibly have the heart to do something like that. In a way the Myanmar ppl are worse off since they don't have a supportive useful government. At least for China, the prime minister has been really effective, going down to the disaster struck place personally and showing much genuine concern. The army is also HUGE and is able to like help in many ways. And not forgetting how China ppl just have a knack to really UNITE in tough times it's amazing. Those that survived actually cooked to feed those in need and helped out as much as possible, which is really heartwarming. If it happened in Spore, everyone would just grab their own things and run and stay out of trouble as much as possible. They would go the distance to escape as far as possible and not to help. How nice.
So updates on mr cockle..i've decided to TAKE A STAND, ok more like i was forced to take a stand by my parents. They decided to not waste the money on a doc and be doctors themselves. So my mum pinned me onto the sofa while my dad took a sterilised needle and poked mr cockle. Those who just ate or are about to pls avoid the next section:
So then pus oooooozed out like free from the hole like really a truckload of pus came out and my mum had to clean them off repeatedly while squealing at the side "OMG it's so disgusting, it's so gross", very helpful. Me? I was trying hard not to panic my life away.
So after the pus, out squirts the blood, which is MUCH MORE than the amount of pus. It was like a Titanic load. Quite alot of it got into my eyes, which was shit painful btw while my mum use tissue after tissue to wipe off the rest. Heart pain, cos waste alot of tissue *Live Earth Live Earth!!*.
All in all, IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE i tell you. It was q traumatizing but i'm just glad i din have to waste the money to see the doc and today it has significantly decreased in size and it's NOT PAINFUL ANYMORE!! So aft the whole ordeal, i did a Gay dance all over the living room with my legs crisscrossing rapidly, hands flailing and whatnot, which annoyed my mum who was trying to watch the news HEH.
And i m in the mood to kill. Who? I'll reveal personally, not in the blog though heh.
Feeling weirdly hyper,
Jig Jac
Friday, May 16, 2008
Yes i haven't been blogging because i'm just too busy enjoying myself after exams haha ok not really i m just lazy..now that i don't have to turn to blogging to escape from studying.
This year's birthday has been one of the best i've had so far..had two successful surprises which totally caught me off guard, one by my tuition besties and another by dear denise and wong along wif my hall OG mates. Have always been the one surprising ppl during their birthdays and so i'm really glad i was finally surprised haha..really thankful for such great friends who go to such lengths to make my bday so memorable. And of cos, it's great to be able to spend birthdays with the loved one who put in soooo much effort into the present and brought me to Phin's steakhouse, which was da man.
Just finished watching antm and spoilers ahead warning.......
Whitney won, wonder if they are just trying to make a statement that slightly bigger ppl can make it too..well anw she's pretty enough.
Currently into Naruto and all sorts of new anime..which are taking up most of my time haha which explains the lack of blogging..
And it's the attack of the cockle yet again..now it's my right top eyelid that's swollen, not as big and badly but it's still bad..let's jus say mr cockle is acting cute this time..it's like a blob drooping over my eyes..which made everything i watch less enjoyable and clear..seriously..i've had enough of this..managed to cover it quite well during clubbing this wed with thick eyeliner heh..i tink it sort of made it worse..oh well the stupid crazy things girls do for beauty..
Ok this is a boring entry i realise..must be because i m not in the blogging mood heh..ok promise to do better next time.
Promise never to eat cockles again,
Jig Jac
This year's birthday has been one of the best i've had so far..had two successful surprises which totally caught me off guard, one by my tuition besties and another by dear denise and wong along wif my hall OG mates. Have always been the one surprising ppl during their birthdays and so i'm really glad i was finally surprised haha..really thankful for such great friends who go to such lengths to make my bday so memorable. And of cos, it's great to be able to spend birthdays with the loved one who put in soooo much effort into the present and brought me to Phin's steakhouse, which was da man.
Just finished watching antm and spoilers ahead warning.......
Whitney won, wonder if they are just trying to make a statement that slightly bigger ppl can make it too..well anw she's pretty enough.
Currently into Naruto and all sorts of new anime..which are taking up most of my time haha which explains the lack of blogging..
And it's the attack of the cockle yet again..now it's my right top eyelid that's swollen, not as big and badly but it's still bad..let's jus say mr cockle is acting cute this time..it's like a blob drooping over my eyes..which made everything i watch less enjoyable and clear..seriously..i've had enough of this..managed to cover it quite well during clubbing this wed with thick eyeliner heh..i tink it sort of made it worse..oh well the stupid crazy things girls do for beauty..
Ok this is a boring entry i realise..must be because i m not in the blogging mood heh..ok promise to do better next time.
Promise never to eat cockles again,
Jig Jac
Thursday, May 15, 2008
taste summa this freedom
wong in da house! omg the disgusting exams ended last sat and i still havent been getting enough sleep, but this time in a nice way, not cos of class or schoolwork. life rox baby! all those still having exams, hang in there cos it'll be over sooner than u realise and then it's back to sunny singapore with yours truly! cant wait to learn driving and go white water rafting and play ball and laze arnd at home. omg. this is the life!
anyways yesterday i finally conformed and got my hair straightened. i look like generic singapore girl now. next thing i know i will be getting double eyelids. and red/gold highlights. and start carrying a tote bag. but i suppose it was time to change la. i havent had straight hair since that frighful morning when i was twelve and woke with a curl in my fringe. and another the next morning. and another the next morning. u get the idea. i suppose straight hair is more manageable. it doesnt ever get messy. i dont get an afro when i wake up. pretty cool. some of my friends like the big hair more, and i miss it a little, but it'll grow back la so i'm gonna try get used to this in the mean time. ooh i just wrote a whole paragraph about my hair. win already la haha.
k off to watch gossip girl. oh yeaaaaaaaa
wong out
anyways yesterday i finally conformed and got my hair straightened. i look like generic singapore girl now. next thing i know i will be getting double eyelids. and red/gold highlights. and start carrying a tote bag. but i suppose it was time to change la. i havent had straight hair since that frighful morning when i was twelve and woke with a curl in my fringe. and another the next morning. and another the next morning. u get the idea. i suppose straight hair is more manageable. it doesnt ever get messy. i dont get an afro when i wake up. pretty cool. some of my friends like the big hair more, and i miss it a little, but it'll grow back la so i'm gonna try get used to this in the mean time. ooh i just wrote a whole paragraph about my hair. win already la haha.
k off to watch gossip girl. oh yeaaaaaaaa
wong out
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
OMG
i gotta hang in here till saturday. damn i always end last outta the whole wide world. after SEA paper this evening i was K.O like major major. so i wandered around kicking scruffy and eating people's food to restore my brain cells. i dunno wth i am still awake now when just now during the paper i wanted to sleep so bad.
i cant believe this is almost the end of year one. no more a freshie! zomg. gotta move out of hall like almost immediately after my last paper :( why the hell do they hafta chase us out so fast.. save electricity ah. some part of me is damn excited bout the three long delicious months. like i've got a whole list of things i cant wait to do! i dont want the three months to end, but i am quite excited bout school nx yr. like IHG and everything. am i losing my mind?! hols havent even started, EXAMS NOT EVEN OVER..
i want to eat sashimi
wong out
i cant believe this is almost the end of year one. no more a freshie! zomg. gotta move out of hall like almost immediately after my last paper :( why the hell do they hafta chase us out so fast.. save electricity ah. some part of me is damn excited bout the three long delicious months. like i've got a whole list of things i cant wait to do! i dont want the three months to end, but i am quite excited bout school nx yr. like IHG and everything. am i losing my mind?! hols havent even started, EXAMS NOT EVEN OVER..
i want to eat sashimi
wong out
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