The past week has enabled me to see the ugly side of humankind right smack in my face not once but twice. It's amazing how people can blatantly exclude you and go about enjoying themselves right in your face and then to top it off, rub it in your face. I just don't understand how people are capable of such apparent disregard for others' feelings. And it's disappointing how those whom you expect to be there for you end up joining the elitist instead.
And you would think that at this age and time, cavemen do not exist anymore but unfortunately they do. It's preposterous and revolting the way they are so out of this world and unreasonable that you actually question their existence.
Then, there are those people who are so delusional you would think they came straight out of a storybook, the way they seem to be so self obsessed, the way they criticise people for the precise, same things that they often commit themselves. And then they come and wonder why so many people dislike them. This should be a wake up call in itself, calling out for self reflection.
Seriously, sometimes i do wish that everything were a dream.
And sometimes it seems that everything i do is wrong. It's getting quite tiring, everything.
I guess i am so caught up in wanting everything to be right that i end up doing it all wrongly instead. And i hate it that i just cant find it within me to be a better person in some aspects and this comes at a great cost. I've succeeded in painting a disgusting and hateful picture of myself in front of the person that matters the most to me.
It's so true that there's a limit for everything and as you wonder when everything would fall apart, you continue to unknowingly push the limits day by day.
Somehow, everything is not the way it was before.
Jac
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